6 am: I'm Awake! I let this be known by screaming "aahhmm bbaahh!" and I get really mad if it's more than 0.001 milliseconds before my mommy picks me up. I'm super happy to see her and I give her my biggest and cutest I'm famished smile.
6:30 am: Ugh. Why'd you let me eat so much? I get my diaper changed and a new outfit and then lay bloated on my playmat while my mommy attempts to entertain me(she makes a fool of herself sometimes).
7 am: I hang out in my Baby Einstein around the world entertainer while mommy drinks her starbucks Cinnamon Dolce Latte.
8 am: You're going to work, daddy? See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya. *YAWN* I'm pooped, time for a nap.
10 am: Wake up! What do I have to do to get a little milk around here? Mommy changes my diaper and then tries to get me to roll over on my playmat. I am so over rolling over. Maybe the other almost 6 month olds are still doing that, but I sit up in my Bumbo or lean against the couch. I have a big proud smile on my face because I am so awesome and smart(you don't have to be humble when you're a baby).
12 pm: Another nap? This is an outrage. I have a lot of things to do. Pay my mortgage, check my emails, make lunch, post my latest diaper outcome on Twitter, clean the ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
3 pm: Wake up! I'm in a pretty good mood. Mommy is cleaning something, I stare at her for a while. I usually lay on the couch or sit in my bumbo and mommy plays with my toys while I look at her funny. Sometimes she puts on musical soundtracks and performs the songs for me complete with theatrical singing and dance numbers(she would be embarrassed if she knew I told you that).
3:30 pm: Daddy calls mommy. They talk about boring stuff, I really don't see why they need to talk about anything else but me.
3:30 pm: Daddy calls mommy. They talk about boring stuff, I really don't see why they need to talk about anything else but me.
4 pm: I'm hungry! what's for dinner? sweet potatoes? sweeeet!
5 pm: Mommy and I have eaten dinner so now it's reading time. And just in case you're wondering a few of my favorite books are: Pat the bunny, Love you forever, Goodnight moon, Pascual, Where the wild things are, The cat in the hat. Sometimes mommy will take pictures of me because I'm ridiculously cute, you know.
6 pm: It's bath night! I LOVE splashing in the water and giggle when mommy cleans between my toes and underarms. Then she has the nerve to take me out of the glorious warm water. Can someone call Child Protective Services on her? I have to spend a whole second in the cold bathroom butt naked before I'm wrapped in my hooded towel and by then I'm so mad I cry and squirm while mommy puts me in my jammies. Now I'm going to be extra cranky all night. Thanks a lot.
8 pm: Daddy's home! I smile really big at him. Mommy is happy to see him too. She looks tired. They try to watch TV (sometimes they even try to hold hands and cuddle with each other--yuck!) but I don't let them, I hate it when they're comfortable. I rather act fussy and make them walk around with me. I love it when Mommy sits me in her lap with her arms around me and rocks back and forth while shushing in my ear. This means she can't see the TV, but whatever, that stuff rots your brain. Put on Sesame Street, please.
8:30 pm: Night, night. Sometimes I'll play a fun game where I fall asleep and my parents think I'm asleep for the night and just when they're falling asleep I wake up again! Guys? Why aren't you laughing?
9 pm: Finally asleep in my cal-king Tempur-Pedic bed(I share my comfy bed with my parents). I shouldn't have partied so late. I'm gonna really feel it in the morning.